Missionary Mom: Stephie Van Wagenen

Missionary Mom: Stephie Van Wagenen

The recent publication of The Messenger features testimonies about moms on the mission field. This article is an extension of this edition. Read The Messenger here.

My husband Hunter and I are currently Missionary Candidates living in Greensboro, North Carolina, and preparing to move to Spain to serve as missionaries on the Camino de Santiago.  Over 300,000 pilgrims a year walk along the ancient paths of the Camino, many seeking something spiritual to fill the void in their lives, and God has called us to establish a hospitality ministry there where we can care for pilgrims and share with them the love of Christ.

Before Hunter and I were married and called to Spain, I lived in Ethiopia and served with a Christian organization called Water is Life International.  I lived with another missionary family, but spent most of my time traveling and working on my own with a team of Ethiopian colleagues.  I often spent long days in the back of a Land Rover, bumping through the bush of southern Ethiopia, spending time in local communities and working on well drilling projects.  Living and serving on the mission field as a single person was very different from what I anticipate it will be like when Hunter and our son Asher and I move to Spain to serve there.  One of my greatest struggles during my three years in Ethiopia was loneliness and living far away from family and friends.  I felt the pressure of “being on my own” in many ways.  While marriage is not a solution to loneliness, I do expect that it will be a very different experience going to Spain and serving as a family unit.  I anticipate there will be great comfort in that.  

My desire is that our ministry would flow out of our family, and that our children would be an active part of it.  Even now in Greensboro, 7-month-old Asher accompanies Hunter on pastoral visits and helps to bring comfort, joy, and peace to others in our congregation.  While this is a simple thing, it represents what we desire for our future ministry with our family.  Once we are established on the Camino, we dream of our children helping with chores around the hostel and bearing the hope of the Gospel to weary travelers.

I am a new mom and it has been a journey figuring out how to juggle all the roles and relationships I am blessed with in my life, especially while we are in the intense season of partner development and preparing to move to the mission field.  I draw support from God, resting in him and leaning on his strength.  Hunter is an incredible support to me and loves and serves me well.  We are extremely blessed by our families, and by our community at Church of the Redeemer who continue to bless us and be so generous to us.  “It takes a village” is no joke!

We continue to pray for God to raise up new partners to step into ministry with us, especially those who have a heart for Europe and the lost.  If anyone is interested in learning more about our ministry, or joining us through prayer and financial support, they can contact me at stephievanwagenen@gmail.com or visit our support page on the SAMS website here.

Daily Life

Missy here. This is a long post. Therefore, I understand if you want to jump to the IMPORTANT stuff at the bottom!

If you look at all the pictures Evan posts, you might think that we are on a year-long vacation (and I realize that Belize is a tourist destination), but the work we are doing is very real and, for me at least, it is sometimes quite intense. So, I’m going to share with you our weekly schedule after some other tidbits. If you aren’t interested in the schedule – no worries – but for those wanting a deeper feel of the rhythms of our lives, here it is.

Annabelle said to me the other morning, “it’s better living in Belize than the States, right Mom?” I replied as I often do in these sorts of situations by saying, “In some ways.” I asked what she was talking about and she described walking to school without a winter coat and instead being in our short sleeves, looking at all the greenery and bright flowers, and that we get to walk everywhere and we’re in better shape. I didn’t point out that we were walking down a dirt road, past some shacks (and some nicer houses) or the many other ways that the States would be considered “better.” We often discuss how in some ways Belizeans are quite environmentally conscious – like reusing all manner of things and parts of things – and sometimes not so much. It’s all a matter of perspective.

The following morning Annabelle said that she likes school
now that we’ve had a weekly routine for a few weeks and she’s adjusted to it.
It’s surprising in a lot of ways, but she does seem to actually be enjoying
school more than she did in the States. She still asks about homeschooling
sometimes and is still showing signs of anxiety around school in different
ways, but she doesn’t resist going like she would at times back home. The school
pace is really rigorous and there is an emphasis on handwriting that was
initially quite hard for her, but she says she’s gotten used to that. We’ll
have to send a picture of her handwriting sometime because it’s quite
remarkable how neat it is.

Another thing Evan and I are still getting used to is that
Annabelle’s school schedule is quite different. In the States we would have
almost 7 hours between drop-off and pick-up. Here, however, one of us has to
meet her for her hour-long lunch break every day. We live close to the school –
which is a very good thing – since it’s a lot of back-and-forth. It does,
however, also mean that one of us has to plan on not working for several hours
straight. We get about 3 hours in the morning when we can both get things done
and then it’s hit or miss. It is helpful that I’m working with her school
seeing kids and parents and some folks from the community.

Sunday: Church is
at 8am. Since Evan helps lead the music, he gets down there at least by 7:30am
these days. We usually end up home around 10am and then have a relaxing
morning. Once we went to St. Hilda’s with Fr. David and Ms. Mary Beth for that
service, and occasionally we will join them there although this makes for a
very long day and lots of sitting still on hard benches for Annabelle.

The afternoon is spent relaxing and getting ready for the
week because Evan heads back to church for the evening service around
Annabelle’s bedtime. He will start to lead the music for that service in a
couple more weeks.

Monday: 8:30am –
Drop Annabelle at school (I timed it and this whole process can take about 30
minutes). I meet with students/families at St. Andrews School (where Annabelle
attends) OR make phone calls and try to follow up with parents and organize my
week.

Soon I will have to start working on my continuing education
for my license during some of these morning times.

11:45am-12:45pm – Get Annabelle for lunch, try to make sure
she eats enough and gets washed up, and then it’s back to school. Sometimes
these lunch hours feel long and spacious and other times rushed.

12:45pm-2:30pm – Meet with our mentors, SAMS missionaries
Fr. David and Ms. Mary Beth, about our work here and what they need from us and
to answer any questions. While this is our formal time of meeting with them we
try to spend time with them at other times too.

After school and getting Annabelle home it’s usually close
to 3pm and we spend our time working on homework, eating a healthy snack, or
running errands if she has been told she needs anything for school the next
day. Daily homework that is due the next day has been a new thing for us. In
the States she had weekly homework and she was often resistant to working on
it. Interestingly, here she will often buckle down and try to get it done.
Sometimes she has three assignments due the next day. Like I said, rigorous.

Tuesday: See
Monday morning

12:45-2:30pm – Meet with more students and families as
necessary

Tuesday afternoons Evan meets to work on practicing and
preparing music for Sunday and then he teaches his guitar class so Annabelle is
definitely my responsibility. While Evan has been really enjoying teaching the
guitar class it is actually quite helpful to the kids too. One Mom even called
Evan after the first lesson her son went to thanking him because she has been
worried that he’s headed down a path of poor choices and this has given him a
new focus. We see him all over town riding his bicycle and he’ll stop and talk
with Evan. There is a noticeable lack of engaged men in the lives of many of
the children here and Evan fathering Annabelle, teaching the guitar class, and
engaging with many of the kids is beautiful. You can see the look of yearning
on many of their faces when he talks with them. We have learned that 60% of
Belizeans are under the age of 25. You can imagine all the implications of a
statistic like that.

Wednesday: These
are my long days. I either drop Annabelle off at school and catch a motorcycle
ride with Evan or leave before Annabelle goes to school so I can catch a bus. I
usually spend anywhere from 10-30 minutes waiting for a bus and then the bus
out to St. Barnabus or St. Hilda’s takes about half an hour. It only costs $1
which is nice. St. Barnabus and St. Hilda’s are the two other Anglican schools
that Fr. David oversees. St. Hilda’s is also an Anglican church. I have had to
walk between the schools before and it is beautiful and hot, even using an
umbrella to shade me from the sun. It is about a half hour relatively flat walk
and is a great chance for me to pray for this land and the people in it –
particularly those I’m meeting with. I pass Galen University and University of
Belize Central Farm campus, Mennonite fields of corn and other crops, cows, a
few houses and little shacks selling things.

The area where St. Barnabus and St. Hilda’s schools are
located is more rural and has a reputation for more crime and family
dysfunction. And these realities are reflected in my work there.

The trip back to San Ignacio means either waiting under a
hot bus shelter for a bus which can take anywhere from 30-45 minutes of waiting
or asking if Evan can drive out to pick me up, or once I was randomly offered a
ride by two single moms with their kids in a truck where none of the gauges worked.
They were very kind and dropped me right off by Annabelle’s school. I think I’ll
need extra deodorant on these days over the next few months as this is a long
hot one.

Thursday: Thursday
is my most flexible day as I’m usually in town and can meet with St. Andrews
families or do some of the many other things that need to be done.

Friday: Annabelle
gets released at lunch time on Fridays so we pick her up at 11:45am. While this
means we only have about 3 hours to get anything done it is really nice because
it feels like we get to start the weekend early with her. I often have parents
who want to meet on Friday morning because that’s the only time they are
available. Needless to say, my morning goes quickly. Last week I meet with 4
students and family members over the 3 hours.

Saturday: I think you all know by now that Saturday has been designated Family Fun Day – which is where most of Evan’s photos come from.

There are countless aspects to my work here which aren’t
reflected in this sort of schedule – like all the meetings and documentation
submission to the Ministry of Health (in the capital), the Ministry of
Education (in the next town over), The Department of Labour (the local office
and in the capital), the Income Tax Department, and three visits (so far) to
two different Immigration offices neither of which is in our town. And all
without a car. Our decision not to get a car is one we intentionally made, but
it has certainly made some things more challenging. Of course, it requires an
intentionality to what we do and it has also helped us to slow down which has
been very good. There are many reasons we are here living and serving in
Belize. Some altruistic and noble and some selfish. We definitely didn’t want
to come here to burn ourselves out and are trying to be thoughtful about living
more slowly, gently, and healthily.

I have also met with the local psychiatrist who spends half
her time here and half in the capital. She is a visiting Doctor from Cuba and
only speaks Spanish so her coworker had to translate for her. I also met with
the psychiatric nurse who is Belizean and has been around for some years and
knows all the ins and outs of working in this area. The psychiatrist and nurse
actually go out into the community to find homeless people if they have mental
health issues to make sure they have their medication.

And I went to the police station to meet with the Domestic
Violence Officer who is the one I report abuse and neglect to. I felt I needed
to talk with her after hearing a lot of what I would normally consider
reportable things in the States. She was helpful and clarifying. These are
amazingly dedicated Belizeans who work tirelessly, not only in San Ignacio, but
the entire Cayo District and work 8-5 but are on call all the time. They deal
with a lot of emergency situations with people who have schizophrenia, bipolar
disorder, other psychiatric issues, domestic violence, sexual assault, child
abuse, and neglect. They were very excited for me to be here and they all keep
reminding me that there are no other
counselors of any sort in the District at this time
. There was a District
School Counselor but she left at the beginning of November. Thankfully, Fr.
David has encouraged me to focus on the three Anglican Schools, but everyone
wants to refer to me once they find out what I do. We’ll see. I am prepared to
tell people “no” as necessary. I’m certainly not planning on going out on
mental health emergency calls. Actually, the police officer told me that
everyone really likes it when folks come from other countries because everyone
here is so worn out from doing this sort of work all the time. She encouraged
me to make sure I keep self-care as a priority. 😊

With doing so much walking everywhere we run into church folks and Annabelle’s classmates daily. They all love her and love to yell her name (one really likes to call her “Annabella”). There is little anonymity here which is uncomfortable for me, but can also be beautiful. One has to walk the walk or everyone knows it. We are getting into the loving our neighbors thing in a different way. We regularly talk to our neighbors (often from our porch which everyone is jealous of) and when we are walking to the grocery store (side note – it took 4 different grocery stores to find margarine the other day – butter is rarer and much more expensive). Grocery shopping is never a one-stop thing.

THE IMPORTANT STUFF

Great News – I got my Temporary Work Permit through
Immigration. For anyone who cares, this allows me to volunteer not actually
make any money working. The same will be true for Evan. Unfortunately, despite
the fact that he applied a month before mine, his has needed to be appealed
through no fault of his. Pray that his work permit can come through.

Great News – If you read the above then you already know
this but Annabelle is really enjoying life here. We are still having bumps and
she is still showing some anxiety symptoms, but when she talks about life here
she is very positive. She loves taking the bus and seeing the countryside and
the people-watching too. She also really enjoys riding the motorcycle and I
think we’ve both been impressed with how safety conscious she is about it.

Great News – Now that we’ve been here over two months (10
weeks!) I think we’re all relatively adjusted to a lot of things – not
everything of course, but most of the daily stuff. We are all finding things we
really enjoy and we’re feeling more comfortable in relationships. While we
might still be in the honeymoon phase of cultural adjustment, I think that it’s
gone far more smoothly than I expected. There are only little things so far
that we miss about the States, like being able to flush toilet paper, but we
certainly miss our friends and family more by far than missing any conveniences.

Please continue to pray for our little cottage and the
heating situation. It is not easy to deal with from a distance and a lot of the
burden falls on Evan.

Please pray for the children here. While I often heard hard things in the States in my work, it was most often from adults who were distant (at least in years) from their trauma and it is difficult to hear while the children are still stuck in some traumatic and painful situations.

Stay tuned for the exciting news about Chewie!

February’s news from January.

Ok, so about the title;  I suppose it is January’s news in February. But you’re getting the news in February, so it’s February’s news that happened in January. We good? Ok.

Things in this post: Chewie Update, hipster food photos, what Evan has been up to, family adventures.  There are 25 photos in this post, so you don’t even have to exercise your brain very hard to get a sense of what we’re up to.

Chewie: The Saga Continues

Chewie is definitely lost forever. We can only hope that whatever airplane gremlin found it is enjoying it. I would recommend they wash it first. GOOD NEWS though! Naomi (Mimi), Missy’s mom and creator of Chewies 1.0, 2.0, 2.1, and 2.2, has already completed Chewie 3.0! It was shipped to PA where our friend Curtis picked it up and took it to Haiti. Curtis is scheduled to visit us in Belize in a couple of weeks. Pray that the unrest in Haiti – nationwide protests seeking to oust the current president – will not keep Curtis away. Clearly you should pray for the people of Haiti as well.

Annabelle seems to cycle on and off between handling the transition here. This is normal and we’re finding ways for her to express frustration and anger in healthy ways. Please pray for all of us in this.

FAMILY FUN DAYS!!!

Part of taking care of Annabelle has meant we are being super intentional about taking our Saturdays as our day off and declaring them FAMILY FUN DAYS!!! Those are three exclamation points for those who are counting. One for each of us.

Enjoy the slideshow and be sure to read the captions.

What I’ve Been Doing

I’ve been playing way more music than I expected and I’m so happy about that. Before I arrived, Fr. David (a great musician) was handling all of the guitar playing and singing duties as well as the priestly duties. It was made more challenging by an elbow injury. He asked me to step in and I have. I have learned more music in the past month than I have in the past several years combined. I never lead worship, and most of you know I’m a songwriter who has spent much more time playing in public than in church. This has been stretching to me musically and growing me in a good way spiritually. I play a lot of Wendell Kimbrough. The liturgical music we use is from a wonderful artist, Judy Bailey. Her album is “Lift Up Your Hearts.” Check i t out. 

I’ve also been asked to teach a group guitar class. My students are awesome! This is the first time I’ve taught a guitar class and I’m really enjoying it.  Look at the photo below. Seriously. How cute can you get?!

Also below is a photo of our sister church, St. Hilda’s. We went to a baptism service there a few weeks ago. I’m not posting photos of the baptism, out of respect to the family, but I’ll share a photo of the church, with a wonderful girl in white dancing in the aisle.  The photo above of Annabelle  in the purple dress was taken in front of St. Hilda’s. Beautiful.

Look at this food.

Surprising Things Vol. 1

 Missy here. I’m going with themes for my blog posts as there is so much to share and I’m trying to keep it focused. Still, this email has a lot of words… 

Before I get to some things which have surprised me about living here… prayer requests.

1.       Pray for the work we are doing. I’m beginning to get into counseling in the schools and in the community. The need is overwhelming. As I’ve spoken now with the local psychiatrist at the hospital and school administrators, I’ve learned that although there have been counselors in the district in the past, there is currently no one offering counseling services other than for those in significant crisis – and then they go to the hospital to see the psychiatrist. This week I met with 5 students in two different schools and many others are getting parental permission to speak with me. I’ve already been hearing firsthand of horrific domestic violence, child abuse, significant trauma and disrupted attachments. Many of these problems are generational and cultural as the systems in place to address them from law enforcement to social services are only able to deal with things if they are severe – like life or death. I need discernment and wisdom. Please pray also that those who will most benefit from working with me would come.

2.       Annabelle has been having ups and downs with adjusting to school. She has been showing some anxiety symptoms that are not usual for her. Please pray for her little spirit to be full of joy and life and freedom and for us to help her through this transition. She is the 25th student in her class and the school work is rigorous.

Now for SURPRISING THINGS:

I had wondered many times how closely the Krio I learned in Sierra Leone would be to the Kriol spoken here. Despite the fact that I learned Krio 15 years ago and for only 4.5 months, much of it has come flooding back as I hear people speak the Belizean Kriol. There are many similarities in words, expressions, and grammar. Honestly, the Kriol here is far easier to understand and pick up as it seems more closely related to English and people often speak half a sentence in Kriol and the other half in English. But surprise, surprise, even as I study the Kriol-English dictionary I’m just amazed by this similar language half a world away and I’m surprised by my own memory 15 years on.

I have been amazed by how much Annabelle loves bucket showers. For the uninitiated – bucket showers are literally when you take a shower out of a “bucket.” For one reason or another, we have had only cold water coming out of our faucets quite a number of times since we arrived. Annabelle, who usually insists she doesn’t want a shower or bath (only to spend many long minutes playing and singing to herself once she’s in) loves bucket showers. We heat a pot of water on the stove. Then we pour pitchers of half heated, half cold water over her until she’s soaked, then shampoo and soap up, and then use the rest of the pot of water to rinse. Ironically, it’s usually warmer than even when our water heater is working. 😊 And also it conserves water.

Which leads to my next surprise – water disposal. I’ve been surprised that other than toilet water, all water from our house goes out into the street. Every dish we wash, clothing we launder, shower we take, time we brush our teeth, etc. Every last drop goes out into the ditch in front of our house. I will say that it makes me much more conscious of how much water we’re using and is good for conservation mindedness. Thankfully the toilet water goes into a septic system.

Annabelle has been surprised by some differences at school – not only are there 25 kids in Annabelle’s class but food can be shared and in fact, it seems encouraged. Annabelle was not allowed to share food at her schools in the U.S. We have also all observed that keeping one’s hands to oneself is not a thing here. All of the children at the school are quite physical with one another.

We’ve been surprised by the fact that we haven’t received any mail here yet. Not even one little piece. And I know some folks mailed us Christmas letters even before we left the U.S. I keep wondering where those pieces of mail are… perhaps they made it to the North Pole and Santa will bring them later – like next Christmas.

There have been many lovely random surprises – like how beautiful it is here. Every time I ride on the motorcycle, I kind of fall in love with this land. And we’ve had some really sweet conversations with random strangers on the bus that must be divinely appointed. On one of my trips to the capital, Belmopan, I sat next to a lovely British woman who lives in DC and was with a tour group. Our conversation was so nice in fact that she gave me a hug and a kiss when I left. I would venture to say most of our days are filled with random surprises.

Last, but certainly not least, I’ve been surprised by how much we all love the food. We don’t all love all the food but there are so many things that are delicious and fresh. If you come visit, we’ll definitely be bringing you around to try yummy things! The one that blew me away this week was coconut pie for which they use coconut flour and is full of sweet, spiced coconut. It was amazing!

*Please note there is no judgment in these “surprises.” Things here are a mix of better and worse than in the States or anywhere else.

Starting the Year Right

Life Update – Christmas Break – First Day of School

Hello Friends! 

 We are now in the second full week of January and we’re getting a better sense of life rhythms. There are a few things I really wish I had taken photos of, but alas I did not. In this update I’ll share photos from our trip to Dangriga, Annabelle’s school experience, updates about our work permits/visas, and how our work is shaping up. 

 1) Chewie Update: Chewie is lost forever. Annabelle is sad, but handling it well. Fortunately her chewie wasn’t a stuffed animal out of production, but a blanket made by Missy’s amazing mom, Naomi. This was actually Chewie#Twoie. I’m sure Chewie#Three is nearly born and will be on it’s way to a loving, chewing home here in Belize soon. 

2) No work permits yet. I applied for mine on November 8th! Once I get my work permit, we can apply for Annabelle’s Dependency Visa. The good news is we were granted Visa extensions, and were able to do that  at the border in Benque Viejo. It’s much easier and faster there than the capital, Belmopan. MAJOR UPDATE!!! THIS JUST IN!!! As I was writing this, Missy received her approval to practice from the Ministry of Health. We still need work permits, but this is a huge hurdle and a major praise. 

3) If you would like to support our work here in Belize, we would be most grateful. You can make a tax deductible donation through SAMS in order to do this. Here is a link to our giving page. 

 

Annabelle

 Annabelle started school this week. So far it’s going very well. There are the usual issues that accompany assimilating into a new group of kids, but she doing a great job of navigating them. At her school, students have an hour for lunch and for the younger kids, parents come to have lunch with them, or take them home. We have really enjoyed this rhythm! While we’re there we spend time with kids from the church as well. 

There is an amazing city park a couple of blocks from our house. We’ve gone quite a bit, but only just noticed the little library! It is like a taste of home, as these are all over Charlottesville. It even had a book from the Magic Treehouse Series. It really felt like a gift from God. 

 

Community Life/Work

 

David and Mary Beth came to our place for a New Years day dinner at our place. It has been so much fun getting to know them and working on our friendship. We’re so grateful for them! 

I started playing music at church last week. I have had to learn a lot of new music and I think it went pretty well. I’m excited to do more of that. David hurt his elbow this past year and playing guitar aggravates his injury, so he was ready for me to start playing. 

I was asked to start teaching beginner guitar lessons. I taught my first class this past week and it was SO MUCH FUN! All of the kids are at St. Andrews school and some are a part of the church as well. I taught them the phrase, “I tune because I care” and we learned to tune our instruments. 

We have transportation! This makes so many things easier. FYI, no supporter funds went to the purchase of the motorcycle. I sold my bike in the states to fund our transportation here. It is an inexpensive 250cc Chinese made enduro bike. 

Dangriga

 

 No matter how many times we told Annabelle we were moving to the jungle, she thought we were going to live at the beach. To help with this, we promised Annabelle a trip to the beach before school started. The travel to and from Dangriga was absolutely perfect with no delays at all! When we were changing buses, a tour guide asked us where we were going. I told him and he said, “Why?! Dangriga is horrible.” On that happy note, we kept on. Our plan was to stay at a cheap little beach front place and eat some meals at a local resort so we could use their facilities. 

 

  • Dangriga is the center of Garufina culture in Belize, a culture of freed Caribbean slaves. Missy said it felt more like Africa than Belize.
  • The food was SO GOOD.
  • A lot of wind meant no crystal clear water, and it pushed seaweed up on the shore.
  • We had breakfast with some missionaries there who are friends of friends (Thanks for the introduction, Jonathan Ruel!). After breakfast they asked us to help unload a truck. It was a truck of Operation Christmas Child boxes. Talk about a workout! 
  • There was a lot of trash around the shore, and Missy cut her foot on glass.
  • The resort was AWESOME. Annabelle swam a lot.
  • Belizian Beignet are Fry Jacks (flour dough pockets) covered in powdered sugar. Incredible!
  • Annabelle apparently loves Cooking Competition Shows. We don’t have a television and this was all she wanted to watch. She would plan out her strategy to the challenges. She would always ” top it off with Chocolate Ganache.”
  • We were so grateful for this time to settle before Annabelle jumped into school.   

SAMS 2018 Annual Report

SAMS 2018 Annual Report

We give thanks to the Lord for all that he has done this year. SAMS has sent 120 missionaries into the field this year, with the help of 2,657 senders like you!

View the SAMS 2018 Annual Report in its entirety here!