Did you ever write an essay about what you did on vacation? “I went to DisneyWorld/on a cruise/to Europe/skiing…” Last week was a national holiday week. Yesterday I had coffee with Gloria, our housekeeper. I asked her that same question. I have written about Gloria before. She is kind of the unsung hero of Casa LAMB. The teams, sadly, don’t get much exposure to her. She arrives in the morning as they are eating breakfast and leaves before they get back in the afternoon. The few that get sick and stay home for the day are the beneficiaries of her tender care and delicious chicken soup. Gloria is many things besides a great housekeeper. She is a prayer warrior, the likes of which I have never seen. She is an inspiring preacher over a cup of coffee or casual encounter. She is very humble and she is very poor.
What did Gloria do on vacation? She and her husband, Nelson, took a long bus ride to Choluteca to minister to the extremely poor. They gathered whatever they could and spent the week in one of the hottest and poorest parts of Honduras. They have very little to give in terms of material goods but share enormous spiritual gifts with their brothers and sisters in Christ. Nelson had worked in Choluteca for about a year awhile ago and has never forgotten the people there. They spent the week in fellowship, evangelizing, and fasting and praying for the people. She brought a plastic soccer ball to the children, the only one they had. (Real soccer balls are very expensive here.) A teenager asked Gloria if she would bring him “tacos” or soccer cleats. It may seem like a frivolous request but soccer here is everything for a teenaged boy. His prospects are bleak. He has scaled his dreams down to a pair of tacos. Gloria promised she would bring him some next time, “Por fe,” she said. “Through faith” she knows God will provide the cleats. She recounted an amazing story about an elderly man who had been desperately ill for a long time. He couldn’t move, had difficulty eating and was near death. Gloria and Nelson fasted and prayed. Nelson annointed him with oil as they fasted and prayed some more. Miraculously, he sat up! He started eating and drinking. He can move his arms and talk. It is reminiscent of when Peter healed the crippled beggar: Peter said, “I have no silver or gold, but what I have I give you; in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth,stand up and walk.” (Acts 3:6) Gloria has no silver or gold but abundantly gives what she has.
Gloria is the embodiment of the Beatitudes. Being with her gives me a glimpse of the kingdom of heaven.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
“Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God…” Matthew 5:3-7
About a week ago, I wrote about miracles. A friend shared that my claims of miracles and answered prayers caused her pain. “What about those people who have lost their children despite the same prayers?”
On Sunday, September 27, 2015 we became one of those families when Yarely died. She had been improving and her doctors were encouraging. We were in shock. We have the same emotions and questions that any family has at the death of a child. Why? He opened so many doors, how could He close them now?
The Hondurans move quickly. That afternoon the all-night “velorio” (wake) began. Dulce and the other cooks fed us arroz con pollo at 10, cookies and coffee at midnight, homemade chicken soup at 2AM. The next day was the funeral. It is all over so fast while your head is still spinning from the news of her death. Yet, heartbroken, mourning for what might have been, we have a spark of hope within. We ask, “Lord, where are you?” He gently answers, “do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” We open our hearts and look for miracles and celebrate answered prayers.
A couple of years ago, I asked a Honduran pastor how the very poor, who suffer so much could have such profound faith. “We set our sights on the next life.” I think this is also the answer to Yarely’s death. We miss her and hurt deeply while we rejoice and praise God. We have unanswered questions while we trust in the Lord’s call to Yarely to come home. We ask a million “what ifs” while we expectantly wait to see how He will redeem this tragedy because, of course, He has and He will many times over.
As Margaret Merritt, dear friend and LAMB Director of Operations, said, “It depends on whether you see Yarely’s death as the end of the story, or if you believe the story continues.” Do you set your sights on this life or do you raise them 90 degrees straight up to heaven?
We believe that Yarely had shifted her sights upwards before her illness. Her teacher shared a drawing Yarely had given her. At the top it says: “This angel will watch over you always. I love you Profe Erika. From: Yarely.” Along the bottom it reads, “I love you. Don’t forget me.” It is a sweet but strange sentiment from a 10 year old. Unless it was prophetic… The night before Yarely died, her mother, Misti and I went to the evening visit as usual. Yarely would always open her little hands and grasp ours. Misti would massage a rich lotion on her legs and massage her temples. Yarely would almost purr, she loved it so much. But Saturday night, she didn’t want to be touched. She would sleep off and on. When she awoke she would look at us and grimace, crying without sound or tears. We were baffled by this sudden change. She had had a crisis 3 days earlier when she went into cardiac arrest for 3 minutes before being revived. Misti and I wonder if during those 3 minutes she caught a glimpse of heaven because, on Saturday, every time we touched her it seemed like we were bringing her back to earth. She was ready to go home. How can we not rejoice for her?
But the Lord isn’t only concerned with Yarely. He has made His presence so tangibly felt…in small ways and large sweeping ways. The rainbow that we saw over the Children’s Home the morning of her funeral and that Margaret saw on her way to church that same day was a gift, a reminder of God’s promise and a path for Yarely to skip up to heaven. When we raise our hearts to heaven, we can see these grace notes.
Yesterday I learned that Arely’s 6 year old son, Isaias, had a miraculous experience. The top half of Yarely’s casket opened and had a plexiglass window so you could see her. Isaias told his mother, “She touched my hand and she was looking at me and laughing with me.” How like Jesus to send an encouraging message about our precious child through another precious child.
If your sights are set only on this life, you may be rolling your eyes right now. If they are set 90 degree up, you are shouting “Alleluia!”
Yes, we are one of those families who did not receive the miracle we prayed so fervently for – full healing and a long life with her parents, Misti and Brad. We were praying for miracles here on earth. Instead, Yarely received the greatest miracle of all – perfect health, enfolded in the loving arms of the Risen Lord. We believe Yarely’s story has just begun, relocated to heaven. He didn’t shut the door, He opened a new one. God will redeem this – a tragedy for us, a triumph for Yarely. I can’t wait. I pray we will all shift our sights 90 degrees upwards.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” Rev. 21:4-5
We were not prepared for 10 year old Yarely’s death yesterday. She had been steadily improving in ICU. At 10:30 am (HN time) she suddenly went into cardiac arrest and could not be revived. Shocking and heartbreaking.
Still, in the midst of unimaginable tragedy, there are grace notes. Some huge and some small, but all tangible reminders that the Lord is faithful.
Yesterday, Sunday morning, I dropped Misti (Yarely’s mom) off at the hospital a couple hours early for the morning visiting hour. I wanted to go to church at the Children’s Home for the annual Bible Trivia contest on the Honduran “Day of the Bible” Sunday. Normally, I would have accompanied Misti but who wants to miss the kids fiercely competing about Bible Trivia? David and Evelyn normally go to their church on Sunday morning and visit Yarely in the evening. Yesterday, they showed up in the waiting room unexpectedly. Minutes later, the doctor came out with the terrible news. Through God’s grace and mercy, Misti was not alone. I was at church, which had just begun, and could tell Suzy immediately. Suzy was able to switch to pastoring her flock of little lambs while everyone was together in the place they needed to be to learn of this loss. Shock turned to grief, yet in their hearts they hear, “Don’t be afraid, I will help you and give you peace.”
As we were standing, stunned, by Yarely’s wrapped body, the nurse asked if we had clothes for her. Misti asked me, “Are these clothes just to get her to the funeral home or…permanent ones?” I answered, “permanent clothes.” Misti announced, “Well, we have to go shopping. She needs a pink dress.” We headed to City Mall looking for a pink dress, pretty shoes and a hat to cover Yarely’s shaved head. After looking in several stores we found an adorable pink dress. Next we found pretty little ivory patent leather shoes with a bow. Misti asked, “Do you think we can find little lacy socks?” I hemmed and hawed. I didn’t want to say no to a newly grieving mother. “Um. I’m not sure. Alot of times they don’t wear socks.” We went to the last store and found the perfect hat – pink on one side and polka dots on the other. I asked the sales clerk if they had socks. There on one of the racks filled with athletic socks, way in the back, we saw pink lace poking out. We pulled out the perfect pair of pink, lacy socks. The only ones in all the stores we visited in Central America’s biggest mall. It is a tiny thing, maybe not worth mentioning, but to Misti it was a gift. She was able to dress her precious child in the perfect outfit. One last time. A tiny whisper, “I am here with you. I will not let you go.”
After the funeral service, we processed to the burial site. It is a cemetery on the side of a mountain in the village of San Buenaventura. Although the path was long and a bit treacherous, the view over the valley was beautiful. “Just like the view from our mountain home in Tennessee!” exclaimed Brad, Yarely’s father. Off to the left was a beautiful view of a valley with a town at the far end. It was cloudy and dark when we arrived. (Thank you Lord for holding off the torrential rains during the burial.) Led by Angel and the small guitar, we began singing a beautiful, meditative song called, “Aleluya” praising God. I looked up to see the town, just the town, illuminated, shining in the midst of the grey, cloudy mountains. As the song ended, the clouds returned. For a moment the Lord reveals, “Yarely is with me, in my Holy City.” Aleluya!
One of our 10 year old girls from the Children’s Home, Yarely, has been in ICU for over a month. She was diagnosed with a serious brain tumor. She had 3 emergency craniotomies in 5 days, each riskier than the prior one. We have struggled with the unavailability (in Honduras) of life sustaining medications, the dire added diagnosis of ARDS, a very serious respiratory illness common in intubated patients, fears about brain stem damage and much more. We have had a series of glorious highs and terrifying lows. Often within hours or days. Throughout this “journey back to health” I have been very active on Facebook, emails, messages, and conversations. I have begged for prayers, claimed miracles, and been effusive in praise and thanksgiving for miracles received and prayers answered.
In the midst of this I received a message from a dear friend, written from deep pain. She expressed discomfort in my assertions that prayer works and my bold proclamations of miracles. To paraphrase, “What about those people who have lost their children despite the same prayers?”
Isn’t that the perennial question we all, devout Christians included, ask when “bad things happen to good people?” When our loved one is healed, we shout Alleluia, affirmed that God is, indeed, listening to our prayers and responding accordingly. But what about when the outcome is not what we prayed for? Did we fail in our prayers? Did the loving God in the Bible take a day off? Did we sin too much to qualify for a miracle? Is there such a thing as a miracle? Although the Bible is full of miracles, I used to think (subconsciously) that the era of miracles mostly ended with in the New Testament. I have come to see that the US culture, what makes us “great,” is actually counter cultural to following Jesus. We pride ourselves in our innovation, put our faith in technology/highly trained experts, tenaciously hold on to our “can do,” “pull yourselves up by your bootstraps” independence instead of simply depending totally on God. I am not sure if God is not working miracles in the US because we just don’t ask, or He is and we just can’t see them. (I suspect it is the latter.)
Perhaps the real question is, what is a miracle? Is our definition of miracle too narrow? I have learned that it is broader than a binary “it worked or it didn’t.” (Healed/died, got the job/didn’t, etc.) I have also learned that a miracle can take a long time to be revealed and that, very often, redemption is involved. (I am a strong believer that God can and does redeem any situation if you let Him. My sitting here in HN is a prime example of the redemption of my failed marriage.) Jesus tells us to ask for our heart’s desire. Therefore, we boldly ask for a miracle, for a rapid conclusion of Yarely’s pending adoption, for access to life saving medications, etc. We have prayed for specific things and they have happened. On a Saturday in North Carolina, a LAMB friend found a supply of very rare life sustaining medication. On Monday morning, I met her in the ATL airport and flew it down here just as the hospital was using the last vials available in all of Honduras. For me, that is reinforcement that prayer works and miracles happen. We have prayed for God’s peace when making devastating decisions, e.g. when Suzy, David and Evelyn were deciding whether to keep Yarely in the “unknown hospital with the unknown doctor” versus transferring her to the well known, well respected doctor recommended by our friend, a US pediatric neurologist. Suzy clearly heard from the Lord, “I don’t need a specific place or doctor. I can do my work anywhere.” A profound peace descended upon them and Yarely stayed put and is improving daily. What is that? To me, a direct answer to prayer.
The Lord even provides miracles we don’t ask for. Yarely has been with us her whole life. Late last year, Brad and Misti began the process to adopt her. They were here when her crisis began. Instead of waiting to see what the outcome would be before proceeding with the adoption, they doubled down, working feverishly to accelerate the adoption. “Legal, smegal. She’s ours!” say Brad and Misti. For Yarely, this is the best miracle of all. She has a mama and daddy when she needs them most.
As a result of Yarely’s crisis, a huge community has formed. Literally thousands of people have come together to pray for her and encourage the people responsible for her care. A small community has formed in the ICU waiting room in which we pray for each other, comfort the newest members of this unwanted club, laugh and joke together to break the tension, celebrate a child’s recovery, and mourn together when a child worsens or dies. This feels like grace to me. And, who knows what redemptive seeds are being planted in people as they join us in this journey? (see example here) We may never know, but God does.
None of us thinks that prayer is like a magic wand. If you wave it just right, POOF, here comes the answer we want or the miracle we claimed in the exact form we laid out for the Lord. We all know that, indeed, God answers every prayer but always in His way. Sometimes we do get a POOF, there it is! Other times, the answer is different than we expected or, even, “No.” We must trust (struggle to trust) that “Yes,” “No” or “different” is the perfect answer. We also acknowledge that we may not understand that perfection for many years to come, maybe not until we are reunited with Him in heaven. We also believe that, however painful the outcome is, God will redeem it in some way. We, by our nature, have a micro-view, He has a macro view. To us, this life is paramount. To Him, this life is but a blink of an eye. We simply cannot see the big picture all the time.
When Yarely was facing a extremely risky operation, Suzy wrote:
“I do not know the technical details of Yarely’s current physical condition. Obviously the medical team is of the opinion that time is running out. I can hardly write this. What could be more horrible to write? But I know you want to know. I want to know. It’s terrible to know, but it’s worse not to. People keep texting me: “Don’t lose faith.” Are you kidding me? Faith is all we have! We are praying, trusting, believing. We love Yarely. We do not want to lose her. As you know, though, we saw other people in the same situation this week[in the ICU], also loving and believing, but ending up with the most-dreaded outcome. Faith and grace are not measurable. Whatever happens, it won’t be because the person with the most faith wins, and the person without enough faith loses. And it won’t be because God’s grace is more abundant for some people than for others. His grace is sufficient for all. And the tiniest amount of faith bears fruit for His Kingdom.”
Finally, and most important, while miracles take many forms, the ultimate miracle is that of resurrection. When a loved one dies, we mourn our loss but rejoice in their gain. Jesus died for us so that we can be restored to perfect health and live enfolded in His loving arms forever. That may not be the miracle we are ready for in the moment, that may not be the prayer we prayed for but God, in His infinite wisdom and love, knows best.
I am sorry my petitions and declarations cause my friend discomfort but I am compelled to continue . We don’t know how Yarely’s journey will end. We all talk about how glorious it will be when at 16 or 20 or whenever she stands up before a group of people to testify about her story. We don’t know what the outcome will be but we hope and believe, whatever it is, it will be to God’s glory.
One week this summer we had a small team instead of the usual large ones. It was also our school’s vacation week, i.e. no Wednesday morning devotional. I felt bad for the team, all of whom were here for the first time. As compensation, we visited several micro-credit clients. Each visit was eye opening and inspiring but the team was getting tired. “Just one more visit,” I promised! We went to a tiny pupusa restaurant, behind a wall and locked door. As we waited for our food, there was a small knock at the door. In walked a young woman and her baby. The newborn was obviously ill, which the feeding tube in his nose confirmed. The young mother shyly said, “I saw you on the street. I came so you could pray for my baby.” Laying on hands, they circled the mother and baby in prayer. A Honduran newspaper article stated a 10 year old girl, abused by her step father since she was 6, had just given birth. Social services was unsuccessfully looking for an organization to take in the mother and baby. Meanwhile, Evelyn, our co-director, was working on her computer in the office. Suddenly, inexplicably, the article appeared on her screen. Evelyn immediately picked up the phone and called social services. “We’ll take them.” At the Children’s Home a thirsty child grabs a cup and fills it with pure water from the sink. Down the hall, a toilet flushes. Outside, children and team members shriek with laughter as a water fight breaks out. A year ago this would have been impossible because we didn’t have running water. Now, thanks to gifts large and small from many, many people the children live water-filled lives!
A six year old boy was sent out by his mother to sell his 18 month old sister for $20. “If you come back with her, this time I will break both of your arms.” God sent social services to intercept them and delivered them to us. All summer the boy flopped down on every available lap, jumped into open arms, held countless hands of team members – all telling him he is loved, his sister is safe, and he can be a little boy for the first time in his life.
This summer reinforced for me that serving God is about partnership, working together with Him through prayer, action, giving, and presence to make manifest the kingdom of God. Thank you for partnering with God in your support of LAMB.It makes a difference.
Christ has no body now on earth but yours,
no hands but yours,
no feet but yours,
yours are the eyes through which Christ’s compassion
is to look out to the earth,
yours are the feet by which He is to go about doing good
and yours are the hands by which He is to bless us now.
What did Gloria do on vacation? She and her husband, Nelson, took a long bus ride to Choluteca to minister to the extremely poor. They gathered whatever they could and spent the week in one of the hottest and poorest parts of Honduras. They have very little to give in terms of material goods but share enormous spiritual gifts with their brothers and sisters in Christ. Nelson had worked in Choluteca for about a year awhile ago and has never forgotten the people there. They spent the week in fellowship, evangelizing, and fasting and praying for the people. She brought a plastic soccer ball to the children, the only one they had. (Real soccer balls are very expensive here.) A teenager asked Gloria if she would bring him “tacos” or soccer cleats. It may seem like a frivolous request but soccer here is everything for a teenaged boy. His prospects are bleak. He has scaled his dreams down to a pair of tacos. Gloria promised she would bring him some next time, “Por fe,” she said. “Through faith” she knows God will provide the cleats. 
