For many years (10+) people would ask me, “How long will you be the Volunteer Coordinator for LAMB?” My answer was always, “Til He tells me to stop.” Knowing God’s will is something we all struggle with. Rarely do you get a text message, email, or phone call saying, “Hi, God here. Do this.” Instead, we enter in that vague, mysterious process called, “discernment.” Any explanation of what that is or how to do it is equally vague and mysterious! I have learned that God uses a sense of peace, or lack thereof, to nudge me towards the direction He has in mind. That seems so simple and clear, yet every time I have to figure it out all over again.
Starting sometime late last year, I started feeling like I didn’t quite have my skin on exactly right. Sort of like if your leggings are twisted a bit. Nothing major just squirmy. I figured it was pandemic fatigue and worry that I had forgotten how to be a volunteer coordinator! (Note to self: Pick the team up at the airport. Check.) I didn’t have my normal excitement about returning to Honduras. I posited to some friends that I just needed to get back in the saddle and everything would fall into place. I absolutely loved my job, welcoming teams, making friends, experiencing God’s work and miracles with the teams, and everything else that went along with the job. Everything would be fine…if I could just get my skin on right.
Then the email arrived.
When Suzy founded LAMB, it was always with the intent to turn the leadership entirely over to Hondurans. This is something I have always admired and endorsed. After our Cuban missionaries, Richard, former Director of the Children’s Home, and Lariza, former coordinator of education, moved to Spain, there was one non- Honduran left in leadership:
Me! (Suzy is a naturalized Honduran.)
The leadership team decided it was the right time to make it 100% Honduran. So, the email, with love, respect, and gratitude for my service, announced they were going to replace me with a Honduran. My reaction? Anger, upset, disappointment? Nope. I was flooded with peace. I realized that the Lord had been preparing me for something else.
He had been telling me it was time to stop being Volunteer Coordinator and get ready for the next thing. Within
a week, I became the 5th and 6th grade teacher for Joy Academy, our bilingual school at the Children’s Home. Immediately, I couldn’t wait to get back to Honduras! I remain filled with peace and joy as I prepare for week 2 of school. I have been working until 10 pm every night but with happiness and energy.
I remember the first time I really focused on doing God’s will. It was many years ago, before I had been to Honduras the first time. I suddenly had an overwhelming desire to do God’s will but had no idea what that was. I prayed fervently for weeks, “Lord, just tell me what your will is and I will do it!” Silence. More prayer, more silence. One night, I had a dream. In my dream the Lord said, “You want to know my will? What’s to know? Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul. Love your neighbor as yourself. THAT is my will.” Yes, I have had some thunderbolt moments from God (how I got to Honduras in the first place, for example) but really they are so rare. The truth is God’s will for each of us is right there in front of us.
Love Him and love whoever He places in your path. The rest, big stuff and small stuff, will take care of itself.