Today I almost forgot whose I am. A new course was added to my course load and I panicked. The course is called Managerial Economics and I have never taught it before. I wasn’t even sure what it meant. So I went to a friend who reminded me that God will not allow us to get in over our head. That I can do this. Still as I went home I was feeling very let down. Then I had a knock on my door and a neighbor invited me for dinner. It was great to leave the work for a short while. We talked and got to know each other better then I asked her how her day had gone and she said she had delivered a baby. I asked if she had ever done that before and found out it was only here that she had delivered. Can you imagine. Here I was worrying about a,course which I can read and stay ahead of the students and she is delivering babies. She told me the outcome is not always good. The clinic where she delivered the baby has limited supplies. In fact last week a mother came who required a cesarean and they had to send her to Kampala because the clinic had no sutures. but there is also no ambulance service. She had to go by public transportation and by the time she got to the hospital it was to late for both her and the baby. Compared to that how can I not trust God for the provision. I must now trust God for my provision of knowledge. Help me to allow God to stretch me even when it seems to hard. Help me to remember whose I am.
We are calling for a week of prayer for Gambella, from Sunday, April 24 to Sunday May 1.
Last night, a “highlander” was bringing water to refugees in a nearby camp called Jewi when he accidentally hit and killed two Nuer. The driver and some innocent bystanders were immediately beaten to death and more were murdered later that night brining the total up to nine. This is not the only recent incident preceding and following the Jikwo, Lare, and Nininyang massacre. The hatred has to stop somewhere and we are asking the Lord to do what appears to be impossible for humans in spite of their best attempts.
Also, we had planned to bring in a Professor from Addis to teach all our students, both full-time and part-time, on the subject of Early African Church History. This is scheduled for May 2 – 6. Our faculty believe that we must take a step of faith and proceed with this course even though at present fear still keeps our students apart. We believe that this fear is not from God as He clearly says He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, and of power, and of a sound mind and we believe we must take a public stand in faith. While we will not force anyone to attend, we are encouraging our Nuer brethren to allow us to bus them to and from the Anglican Centre.
And so we need your prayers for that week also. Satan is seeking to bring this College to its knees…and so to our knees we will go! Remember, St Frumentius is the only seminary in the area. It is no wonder that the forces of darkness rally against us in such a violent manner!
I include a poem I wrote after the most recent killing in Jewi.
Not too long ago, I was feeling quite vexed. Vexed and worried, angry and frustrated. I finally figured out I need to depend on God directly rather than other people. That helped a lot but I still had vestiges of worry and frustration. Earlier this month I attended the SAMS retreat. SAMS (Society of Anglican Missionaries and Senders) is my missionary agency. It is full of missionaries from throughout the world, serving in fascinating and sometimes exotic places. (Madagascar!)
One of the break out sessions was about spiritual direction. I had heard of it, know people who have done it or are spiritual directors, but didn’t really understand the process.
The leader, Andrew Osmun, was talking about how to find a spiritual director, etc. but there was confusion about what it is and isn’t. So, he said let’s practice and I volunteered. I really wanted to understand the process. I certainly didn’t expect anything to happen, especially since I was sitting in the middle of a circle with 30+ people staring at me being spiritually directed! Not exactly a conducive environment for spiritual reflection…
Anyway, Andrew would explain the first step of the process and then we would do the step, he would explain more about that step and the next one, we would do the next step etc. He asked if anything was on my mind. I briefly and vaguely explained what was on my mind.
He told me to close my eyes, he would say a prayer and then I would just be still for a couple of minutes. When I was ready I would pray out loud and that would be his signal.
I closed my eyes and was immediately frantic. I started praying that I would be able to come up with something to say! I really just wanted to walk through the process to understand it better so I wanted to do a good job playing my role in this simulation.
Suddenly I could see one of our concrete block walls. I was standing inches from it and the blocks had just been laid, the mortar was dry but rough. That was all I could see.
I said a short, meaningless prayer (still in panic mode) and explained the image. He told me to repeat the process, but this time I was to sit by the wall with Jesus. My internal reaction to that was, “Nuts!” Being there with Jesus took all the wind out of my sails. I knew I could not lay out my carefully developed defense or “argument for the prosecution!” I had to just be there by the wall with Jesus, who already knows all that has happened and all that will happen.
After the second prayer, Andrew asked what I experienced. I had a clear image of the water tank! In explaining this to
him (and the group) I realized God was saying, “I will deliver…in my time…and more abundantly than you expect.” God said, “I have done so many miracles here,why would I stop now?”
To my shock, the Holy Spirit actually showed up! I think we were all surprised. Of course, I was crying by now.
Then we prayed once more to finish the session. I closed my eyes and he prayed. We were done. Except – I said, “I received another image. It was a wall.” Andrew was visibly startled and there was a gasp in the room. I explained, “It was Suzy’s prayer wall.” This is the wall we are building to celebrate Suzy’s 25th anniversary. She has long wanted a wall like the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem, where we could write prayers and petitions and put them in the cracks between the stones. I could see the section that we had just built, with the trees and mountains in the background and a beautiful brilliant blue sky! The Lord was saying, “Come to me in prayer, rest in Me.” Then, I received the peace that passes all understanding. Selah
Just a couple of days ago I met with clergy from a new church in a new city. At the end of the meeting, they said they want to partner with us! The Lord has already begun to deliver.
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.Lamentations 3:22-23
Our family is back together in Ohio again after spending the first half of April on the road. Our first stop was All Saints REC IN Raleigh, where we were graciously hosted by Fr Ian MacGregor. He also took me on a visit to St Andrew’s mission about 90 minutes away in nearby Asheboro. From there, our family headed to Asheville for the SAMS retreat and 40th anniversary celebration at the Ridgecrest Conference Center and the ensuing New Wineskins for Global Mission conference.
We were blessed by the small group meetings at the SAMS retreat, where I benefited from the prayers and advice of Philip Mounstephen, the director of the Church Mission Society in the Church of England, and was able to give care and prayer to other missionaries in turn.
Matt with CMS director Philip Mounstephen
The main prayer request I shared with the group was my concern to do a good job of learning Bahasa Indonesia, a language that will be critical to the success of my work in Bandung.
The very next day, Sora and I had a meeting with Singapore’s Bishop for the mission deaneries, the Rt. Rev. Kuan Kim Seng and the Dean of Indonesia, the Rev. Timothy Chong. It was an immediate answer to my prayers when Bp. Kuan told us that we would have at least a year to work on language learning. Praise God!
It was a pleasure to spend time with the Singapore clergy at New Wineskins. Bp. Rennis Ponniah also prayed for us and gave us the right hand of fellowship.
From left: Assistant Bp. Kuan Kim Seng, Dean of Indonesia Timothy Chong, our family, and Bp. of Singapore Rennis Ponniah
The biggest news coming out of the New Wineskins conference is that we have a planned departure date now…and we have purchased one-way airplane tickets for us to arrive in Singapore on June 27. (From there, we’ll head to Bandung in early July.)
At New Wineskins, Sora and I enjoyed talks by Bp. Felix Orji of CANA West (ACNA) and by Bp. Rennis Ponniah of Singapore. It was also good to enjoy fellowship with other missionaries from SAMS, and to see friends from the REC and other Anglican churches.
On the last day of the New Wineskins conference, Sora and I participated in workshops with Stewart Wicker, the director of SAMS-USA, discussing how we were called to go to the Philippines and then to Indonesia.
We were blessed by our time in NC, and we left feeling encouraged and eager to go to the mission field again soon. Thank you, SAMS, and especially Nita Dempsey, for arranging for our participation in these two conferences.
I had the honor of preaching at the Episcopal Church of the Holy Spirit in Cumming, GA yesterday. This is the sermon I preached:
“The Lord is my shepherd.” David wrote it, Jesus lived it. The Lord is our shepherd too. That makes us sheep, which are really dumb animals! They blindly obey and follow the shepherd. But what if, instead of dumb, we say sheep are faithful. They do exactly what the shepherd says and go exactly where he leads. They trust him to keep them safe. They worry about nothing. The shepherd, in turn, is also faithful. He is with them always, goes after the lost lamb, protects them from danger, no one will snatch them out of his hand. Being a sheep sounds better and better if you follow the right shepherd.
Jesus, the Lamb of God, showed us how to follow the Shepherd. In the Garden of Gethsemane, He prayed, “yet not my will, but yours be done.” The Lamb of God is also our shepherd. “My sheep hear my voice. I know them, and they follow me.” (John 10:27)
What is it like to be one of God’s lambs? I never gave it much thought until I moved to Honduras to work for the LAMB Institute. We are all about the Lamb of God, our shepherd. Our day school and children’s home are called Los Corderitos de Dios – “God’s littlest lambs.” Our church is El Buen Pastor, Church of the Good Shepherd. Our motto is based on Revelation 14:4, “following the Lamb wherever He goes.”
“We walk through the valley of the shadow of death,” says the psalmist. Sometimes we stumble there, through our own choices and sometimes He leads us there for His own purposes. However, sometimes we are dragged there by someone else. About a year ago, a mother sent her 6 year old son, whom I will call Juancito, out with his 18 month old sister…to sell her for $20. She told, “If you come back with her, this time I will break both of your arms. But, our shepherd would not let evil snatch the children out of His hand. Instead, He sent Social Services to intercept His precious lambs and deliver them to us. They are safe, loved, and happy at our Children’s Home! If you come visit us in Honduras, brace yourself because Juancito will leap into your arms from a running start!
Other people livein the valley of the shadow of death. In Flor del Campo, a gang-ridden barrio on the outskirts of Tegucigalpa, 200 young men choose Jesus instead of gangs and drugs. They join our Alonzo Movement, led by volunteers from Flor, many of whom were the first young members of the program. Jesus’ message of love is so compelling, leading them beside the still waters of peace and hope, they invite their friends to join them. Every new Alonzo member is one lamb snatched from the hands of Satan and his gangs.
A little girl, whom I will call Maria, was 3 when her father was killed. A short time later, she was kidnapped. She saw a young man be killed and figured she was next. Thanks be to God, she was rescued three days later. Then, she witnessed her mother’s murder. She went to live with her grandmother who got cancer and died. Maria was living in the valley of death. Then Maria entered kindergarten … at our school on a full scholarship. Today, she is a bright 7th grader with good grades who sings, “I believe in you, Jesus, and what you will do in me.” She believes that surely God’s goodness and mercy shall follow her all the days of her life. She has a dream and hope for a future.
This does not happen accidently. Pentecost is coming, when Jesus sent the disciples, and all of us, out into the world to make disciples of all nations. He sends us out and uses us as His instruments to bring salvation to the world. Juancito, his sister, the members of the Alonzo Movement, Maria and so many more are following the Lamb because many people before them chose to follow the Lamb. They are the works that Jesus does, in his Father’s name. Our stories about children saved, trafficking victims rescued and restored, medical miracles, protection from real and present dangers, youth choosing life over death and so many more are examples of God’s love and presence in this world. These are big, wonderful acts. Just like John said, these are just a few. I could fill hours, days and years with more. But God doesn’t just do the big, sweeping acts. He is in the moments of our lives too, the seemingly insignificant things, like little pink socks.
One final story. Yarely was a beautiful, spunky 10 year girl who had spent her entire life with us at the Children’s Home. We were preparing to say good bye to her as her adoption to Brad and Misti in South Carolina was in its final stages. A brain tumor, growing silently, was also in its final stages. She was diagnosed with a rare form of deadly brain cancer and died six weeks later. Misti and I were there when the nurse asked if we had brought clothes for Yarely. Misti, confused in her grief, looked at me for help. “Her permanent clothes,” I explained. Misti, Yarely’s mother in every important way, announced, “We have to go shopping.” She wanted her baby to be dressed properly. We searched the local mall and found a beautiful pink dress with a lacy collar, a little hat to cover her shaved head, and some adorable little shoes. “Do you think we can find some pink, lacy socks?” Misti asked. I thought, “No.” I answered, “Well, they often don’t wear socks but let’s look.” At the last store the sales clerk led us to the sock display. We saw a variety of colorful athletic socks but not what Misti wanted for her little lady. Suddenly, at the very back on the top row I saw a little bit of pink lace peeking out behind all the socks. I reached up to find the perfect pair of pink socks with lace around the top. The exact color of pink to match the dress. Misti beamed! The perfect outfit was ready for her only child. Now this is such a small thing. But, to Misti, it was important. The Lord looked down and nodded, “I get it. Here are your socks.” It was such a comfort to Misti and a message from God, “I am right here with you, every step of the way.” As we buried Yarely, we knew the Lord had been faithful in His promise of eternal life, that Yarely will hunger no more and thirst no more. Jesus is Yarely’s shepherd and He has guided her to the springs of the water of life and has wiped every tear from her eyes.
Each of one you is God’s precious lamb. Follow Him and dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen.
